Advice to women from Habib Kadzim As-Saqqaf

Bismillah

- A woman can complete half of good character by adornment of faith.
- Three foundations of good trait
1. character of faith
2. how we conduct ourselves with God
3. how we conduct ourselves with creations including ourselves
- Do not struck anyone on their faces as Allah created Adam min wajhihi (His face).
- A demon always desire to severe one’s outer form and inner form. The inside is faith.
- Imam Rifa’I (rahmatuLlahu ‘alayh) has a very good character. Once, a person slandered him and he wrote a nice letter to the man. He said that if what you are saying is true, may Allah forgive me and if what you are saying is not true then may Allah increase you.
- In a madrasa, a syeikh heard of a rumour about dispute between his students. Some of the students planned to beat another student at night time. The syeikh covered himself with a blanket in the student’s bed and he was jumped upon and beaten badly. When the syeikh came out, he said to the students that they can’t handle a problem unless the problems get out from them. He cured their problems and tasted sweetness in the tribulation.
- Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam has good character and everyone bore witness of his good character Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam.

- Good character:
1. pardon those who did wrong to you.
2. maintain ties with those who severed it.
3. give to those who withhold from you.
- If a child is cold towards his mother (jafa’), husband to wife, if someone is cold to you, be warm with them.
- If you have insincere intentions, make repentance to Allah.
- How many times you can try to maintain ties? Keep on trying until everything become natural to you.
- Protect your heart from being affected by
1. dealing with people who mistreated you like he is a child.
2. flip their words.

- Some good traits can only be found in women. That is why Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam held class for women only one day in a week.
1. Attribute of patience
2. fearful of God
- Women need lots of patience and she will gain the love of Allah.
Sayidatina Asma’ Binti Abu Bakar, wife of Sayidina Zubayr Ibnu Awwam (Radhiya Allahu ‘anhuma) used to get datestones from great distance (farsakh). She put it on her head and walked back, grind them and fed the camel with it. On the way, she met Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam and some companions. Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam asked her to go on the back of his camel. There were some men near Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam with sheeps. When Sayidatina Asma radhiyaAllahu ‘anha returned home, Zubayr came home later and she told him, Rasul motioned her to ride on the camel. Zubayr RadhiyaAllahu ‘anh said, ‘you carrying deadstones on your head is more difficult for me to bear.’ She is a very patient woman.
- Sayidatina Fatimah radhiyaAllahu ‘anha was related by imam Ahmad bin Hanbal Rahmatullahu ‘alayh, the one who make her happy make me happy and whenever he sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam saw Fatimah, he will stands up and kiss her forehead. Sayidatina Fatima used to grind datestones until she had blisters on her blessed hands. The reasons why we are hearing the hadith is because of Sayidatina Fatima ‘alayhi salam (33x subhanAllah..) has strength and vigour in remembering Allah.
- The life in Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi wassalam’s time was not an easy life. It demands patience and great amount of faith in the heart.
- Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam will pray when he saw a great woman and he will say I love you and he will pray for them.
- We need to have a society of knowledge and piety, and we can see they are modest. ‘wa iza zahabal eeman, zahabal haya’
- Modesty was found in abundant in prophets and women surrounding the prophets.

- Sayidatina ‘Aisyah radhiyaAllahu ‘anha remembers God much and used to fast continuously.
- Once Sayidina Bilal RadhiyaAllahu ‘anhu went through the crowd until he was surrounded by women. Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam was addressing them. ‘O women! Give in charity. Give in charity. And I saw in jahannam, lots of woman.’ A woman stood up and asked Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam why is the women majority in naar? ‘They did not fulfil the rights of husbands have over them.’
Never argue with your husbands even when you are right!
Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam used the word Kufr ie ungrateful towards husbands.
And at the time of Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam, women did not earn wages but he still said to give in charity. Even giving something small is really a great thing.

- Every woman has a portion of mercy in them. 1) patience 2) modesty 3) zikrulLah : light for this world and the next.

- 1) We need to revive prayers before fajr, even 3 minutes before fajar.
2) Remembrance of God
3) Good character and practising the religion ( sometime practising the religion can illuminate our heart more than zikr).

- Regarding backbiting: it will result in harm for the backbiter. We have to control our tongue and seek help. We have to deal with the issues and not harming ourselves by doing backbiting.

-“Whoever sends Salawat (salutations) on me ten times in the morning and ten times in the evening, he will get my syafa’ah (intercession)".
-Whoever read Salawat 100 times after maghrib and 100 times after fajar prayer, Allah will grant him 100 of what he needs: 70 in the next world and 30 from this world.

Allahumma Salli ‘ala Sayidina wa habibina Rasulillah Sallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam ‘adada kulli zarrah alfa marrah.