Monday, December 21, 2009

Advice to women from Habib Kadzim As-Saqqaf

Bismillah

- A woman can complete half of good character by adornment of faith.
- Three foundations of good trait
1. character of faith
2. how we conduct ourselves with God
3. how we conduct ourselves with creations including ourselves
- Do not struck anyone on their faces as Allah created Adam min wajhihi (His face).
- A demon always desire to severe one’s outer form and inner form. The inside is faith.
- Imam Rifa’I (rahmatuLlahu ‘alayh) has a very good character. Once, a person slandered him and he wrote a nice letter to the man. He said that if what you are saying is true, may Allah forgive me and if what you are saying is not true then may Allah increase you.
- In a madrasa, a syeikh heard of a rumour about dispute between his students. Some of the students planned to beat another student at night time. The syeikh covered himself with a blanket in the student’s bed and he was jumped upon and beaten badly. When the syeikh came out, he said to the students that they can’t handle a problem unless the problems get out from them. He cured their problems and tasted sweetness in the tribulation.
- Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam has good character and everyone bore witness of his good character Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam.

- Good character:
1. pardon those who did wrong to you.
2. maintain ties with those who severed it.
3. give to those who withhold from you.
- If a child is cold towards his mother (jafa’), husband to wife, if someone is cold to you, be warm with them.
- If you have insincere intentions, make repentance to Allah.
- How many times you can try to maintain ties? Keep on trying until everything become natural to you.
- Protect your heart from being affected by
1. dealing with people who mistreated you like he is a child.
2. flip their words.

- Some good traits can only be found in women. That is why Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam held class for women only one day in a week.
1. Attribute of patience
2. fearful of God
- Women need lots of patience and she will gain the love of Allah.
Sayidatina Asma’ Binti Abu Bakar, wife of Sayidina Zubayr Ibnu Awwam (Radhiya Allahu ‘anhuma) used to get datestones from great distance (farsakh). She put it on her head and walked back, grind them and fed the camel with it. On the way, she met Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam and some companions. Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam asked her to go on the back of his camel. There were some men near Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam with sheeps. When Sayidatina Asma radhiyaAllahu ‘anha returned home, Zubayr came home later and she told him, Rasul motioned her to ride on the camel. Zubayr RadhiyaAllahu ‘anh said, ‘you carrying deadstones on your head is more difficult for me to bear.’ She is a very patient woman.
- Sayidatina Fatimah radhiyaAllahu ‘anha was related by imam Ahmad bin Hanbal Rahmatullahu ‘alayh, the one who make her happy make me happy and whenever he sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam saw Fatimah, he will stands up and kiss her forehead. Sayidatina Fatima used to grind datestones until she had blisters on her blessed hands. The reasons why we are hearing the hadith is because of Sayidatina Fatima ‘alayhi salam (33x subhanAllah..) has strength and vigour in remembering Allah.
- The life in Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi wassalam’s time was not an easy life. It demands patience and great amount of faith in the heart.
- Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam will pray when he saw a great woman and he will say I love you and he will pray for them.
- We need to have a society of knowledge and piety, and we can see they are modest. ‘wa iza zahabal eeman, zahabal haya’
- Modesty was found in abundant in prophets and women surrounding the prophets.

- Sayidatina ‘Aisyah radhiyaAllahu ‘anha remembers God much and used to fast continuously.
- Once Sayidina Bilal RadhiyaAllahu ‘anhu went through the crowd until he was surrounded by women. Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam was addressing them. ‘O women! Give in charity. Give in charity. And I saw in jahannam, lots of woman.’ A woman stood up and asked Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam why is the women majority in naar? ‘They did not fulfil the rights of husbands have over them.’
Never argue with your husbands even when you are right!
Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi Wassalam used the word Kufr ie ungrateful towards husbands.
And at the time of Rasul sallallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam, women did not earn wages but he still said to give in charity. Even giving something small is really a great thing.

- Every woman has a portion of mercy in them. 1) patience 2) modesty 3) zikrulLah : light for this world and the next.

- 1) We need to revive prayers before fajr, even 3 minutes before fajar.
2) Remembrance of God
3) Good character and practising the religion ( sometime practising the religion can illuminate our heart more than zikr).

- Regarding backbiting: it will result in harm for the backbiter. We have to control our tongue and seek help. We have to deal with the issues and not harming ourselves by doing backbiting.

-“Whoever sends Salawat (salutations) on me ten times in the morning and ten times in the evening, he will get my syafa’ah (intercession)".
-Whoever read Salawat 100 times after maghrib and 100 times after fajar prayer, Allah will grant him 100 of what he needs: 70 in the next world and 30 from this world.

Allahumma Salli ‘ala Sayidina wa habibina Rasulillah Sallahu ‘alayhi wa alihi Wassalam ‘adada kulli zarrah alfa marrah.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Why Do Women Have To?

Woman’s Reflection on Leading Prayer
© 2005 Yasmin Mogahed

—–

On March 18, 2005, Amina Wadud led the first female-led Jumuah (Friday) prayer. On that day women took a huge step towards being more like men. But, did we come closer to actualizing our God-given liberation?

I don’t think so.

What we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God—not in relation to men. But as western feminism erases God from the scene, there is no standard left—but men. As a result the western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man—the standard.

When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the “standard” had it.

What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness–not their sameness.
And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.

For 1400 years there has been a consensus of the scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way. Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading prayer is not better, just because it’s leading. Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn’t the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa alihi wa salam) have asked Ayesha or Khadija, or Fatima (radi Allahu anhum)—the greatest women of all time—to lead? These women were promised heaven—and yet they never lead prayer.

But now for the first time in 1400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, "That’s not fair." We think so although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind.

On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa alihi wa salam) taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?

When asked who is most deserving of our kind treatment? The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa alihi wa salam) replied 'your mother' three times before saying 'your father' only once. Isn’t that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.

And yet even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men, to value it—or even notice. We too have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother—a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and self-less compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.

As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is just a knee jerk reaction: if men have it—we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we’ve accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one’s position with God.

A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God's word as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn’t need a man.



In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we, as women, never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.

Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women’s liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the foundation of society—just because a man did it.

Then after working, we were expected to be superhuman—the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker—and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we’d given up.

And so only now—given the choice—women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full-time. And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93% of them say they would rather be home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to ‘financial obligations.’ These ‘obligations’ are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West, and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.

It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.

Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not–and in all honesty–don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.

If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet—I choose heaven.

Above are the intention for studying from Imam Abdullah Al-Haddad (RahimuLlah) translated as: All praise to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. And salutations and greetings upon our master Muhammad and upon his family and companions. I intend to study and teach, take and give a reminder, take and give benefit, take and give advantage, to encourage the holding fast to the book of Allah and the way of his messenger, and calling to guidance and directing towards good hoping for the countenance of Allah and His pleasure, proximity and reward, transcendent is He. (Our thanks to www.deenport.com)

notes:


-You can search the blog by clicking on the top left corner of the page.
- All the notes were just our own paraphrasing while listening to the dars. Any mistakes are ours and please forgive us for that.
-Last but not least, please make du'a for us, for our dunya wal akhirat.